What did you say ma?

…and dad picked it up from my bag to take a look.

He saw that I set our house as a favorite, and got a little upset.

“What are you doing, setting our home as “Home”? Do you know if you lose this GPS, somebody will pick this up, know were you live, and follow you home?”

“But dad, we need the home point, to calculate the route, in case I got lost somewhere….”

“delete it now! bla bla bla bla bla bla….” he went, I cant remember, but something about stalkers and psycho-killers, I suppose. So I had an idea.

I set the neighborhood mosque as the home point.

So even if the stalker-psycho-killers followed me home, they’d at least have gained some free iktikaf pahala right? LOL

Mom: So…you went to see the Avengers last night. With whom?

Me: Just my dudes.

Mom: Guys? You went on a late night out with guys?

Me: Yeah, mom, we know from way back. They’re nice guys.

Mom: Is he, religious?

Me: Yeah, sorta…cuz his parents are PAS.

Mon: EVEN MORE CAN’T BE TRUSTED!

If you are an 80’s kid….you remember these…

Ma just asked me how a diaphragm looks like. I told her, and she was like, “how do you know?”

• Mom: GRASSHOPPER? Do you know, grasshoppers are manifestation of evil spirits; that might've been a demon trying to get you...
• Me: Well, that's one weak demon, cuz I just killed it with bug spray.
• Dad: *Giggles*

• Mom: I took the one straight off the mannequin, but it couldn't fit.
• Storekeeper: of course Miss, the mannequin doesn't eat....

Mom: (holding her hands to her face) Awww, aww! Eeeh…

Yeah, that was mom, impersonating Ella.

• abang: polis tu ada tiga line chalit.
• abah: tu sarjan tu.

• Bro: So there's this Prof, a Sudanese who married a local, told me how hard it is to get a citizenship for his baby...
• Mom: Married a SUDANESE? Eu..
• Me: Ma, he's a well-educated, cultured, polite kind of Sudanese....
• Mom: it's a SUDANESE for god's sake. Why, aren't there any local men around?