My mom is the best thing I'll ever have. This is where I got her sarcasm and acid lips.

"When I was little I wished she was dead, When I grew up I wished she could live a hundred more."

Posts Tagged: wtf

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1 week ago    |   Tags: wtf dad lol pigs pets  

"What time it is? It’s bacon time!!"

- dad’s reaction while watching a documentary about domestic pet pigs from piglet to adult

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3 weeks ago    |   Tags: male drink mom dad wtf kak ton comey tak  
Mom bought this for dad. It seems to be a drink mix “for men”. Now I REALLY don’t wanna walk in their room anymore. (At least not on night time)

Mom bought this for dad. It seems to be a drink mix “for men”. Now I REALLY don’t wanna walk in their room anymore. (At least not on night time)

So my boyfriend proposed to me...

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2 months ago    |   Tags: mom dad proposal wtf doesnt anybody believe that i'm taken?   |   Notes: 1

  • Me: (he proposed) and he wants to meet the parents...
  • Mom: Somebody proposed to you?
  • Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Mom: HAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Bro: You guys, you should be, like, happy or something!
  • Dad: Hahaha. Oh yeah, we're happy.
  • Mom: Yeah, yeah, that's good, yeah.
  • (still giggling)

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3 months ago    |   Tags: mom wtf lol facebook account  

"Do you need to pay to open this facebook account?"

- mom, who thinks like the accountant she is.

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6 months ago    |   Tags: mom wtf perfume boyfriend  

"Oh you bought a perfume? good, wear it, attract men, and maybe you’ll finally get a boyfriend."

- Mom, she’s serious

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7 months ago    |   Tags: dad justinbieber wtf misheard I need to clean my ears   |   Notes: 1

"Hey guys! On TV! Flying squirrel!"

- Dad. (actually he was saying “hey guys, on TV Justin Beiber” but I couldn’t hear it from the shower)

You sound so KKK, Ma.

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1 year ago    |   Tags: racism mom going out of topic interracial dialogue wtf  

  • Bro: So there's this Prof, a Sudanese who married a local, told me how hard it is to get a citizenship for his baby...
  • Mom: Married a SUDANESE? Eu..
  • Me: Ma, he's a well-educated, cultured, polite kind of Sudanese....
  • Mom: it's a SUDANESE for god's sake. Why, aren't there any local men around?

WELL, GO AND FIND ONE!

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1 year ago    |   Tags: srsly mom wtf I love cats   |   Notes: 1

  • Mom: what's the use of taking care of a cat, really. Better if you take care of a husband.
  • Dad: hahaha!
  • Me: but ma, I ain't got a husband, that's why I have a cat.

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1 year ago    |   Tags: teeth mom wtf   |   Notes: 1

"If you glue your lips together, you won’t have that gum problem. Yes, glue your lips together.The dentist said bacteria comes in whenever you open your mouth…"

- Mom, and she’s serious. Wadehell?

That’s why you shouldn’t ignore your mom…

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1 year ago    |   Tags: fetish mom WTF work thatswhyyoushouldpasswordyourfolder   |   Notes: 5

So my mom want to do a talk for an anti-drug campaign, and she needs to prepare the slides too. She sat on my bro’s PC, made a few slides and went, “Izzie, I need related anti-drug pics for these slides….can you find me one?”

I was too lazy to Google so ignored her for a rather long time. Until I hear her innocent monologue, “Let’s just find those in My Pictures….hm…I’ll check in this Bondage folder….”

OK MA STOP I GOOGLED, I GOOGLED, SEE? NO NEED TO FIND ANYMORE!